“Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?” – Anonymous
Several years ago, my own thinking and my own best ideas had taken me to a place of utter despair. From depression to addiction and ultimately psychosis. None of it made any sense to me because this was, in absolute fact, the exact same thinking that had also allowed me to achieve all my lofty goals and objectives in life. Heck, I had objectively not only achieved all the things I had set out to achieve, but I had significantly surpassed them. My thinking had worked so well on the way up, but my thinking had turned into gasoline on fire on the way down. Absolutely everything I thought was a good idea made things catastrophically worse. It was a complete paradox. But life is a paradox. Maybe that is the greatest lesson I have learned through all of this.
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer” - Jim Carrey
From that place of utter defeat, I waved the white flag and surrendered. My own thinking was not going to get me out of the addicted hellscape that I had found myself in. I served my mind with a cease-and-desist order that day and committed to taking the suggestions of others who had found a solution and, most importantly, to search for this “Power greater than myself”. I was now the atheist that was searching for God. And why not? My playing God had not worked. Besides, I had nothing left to lose.
“I don’t believe in miracles, I rely on them” – Yogi Bhajan
From that posture of surrender and willingness, where I earnestly found humility for the first time in my life, I began to quickly develop a conscious connection with a Higher Power that bathed me in unconditional love and, though my intuition, became my map and compass as I moved forward. Then came miracles. I have not had a drink since that day. Multiple mental health challenges quickly evaporated and are now but a distant memory. I found pure peace of mind for the first time in my life. I was ready to take on life again. But did that mean going back to my own thinking, my own attempts to control things and back to playing God? Another paradox.
Everywhere I looked I saw people filled with anger and fear, society split into warring fragments with each one saying to the others “we are right, and you are wrong”. Each group is trying to impose their will on the others. Standing on thrones of self-righteousness and hurling hate and contempt at one another. And everywhere, the same thing was being done on an individual basis. I don’t know why I couldn’t see it before, but I could see it now. There was no peace in this, and I would not give up my peace for anything. This philosophy of self-sufficiency was clearly not paying off, at least not for what I was wanting in life.
I made the decision to turn my will and my life over to God in ALL of my affairs. I fully accepted that my thinking, that had been fully conditioned by an insane society, would never bring me what I truly yearned for. Peace with myself and my fellows. That was five years ago. My priority for the last five years has been to strengthen my intuition through improving my conscious contact with a Power greater than myself. I have faced hardships and challenges that most people can’t understand how I survived, but I didn’t just survive them, I absolutely thrived through them. I honestly see my life today as a flow state that is full of love, joy and abundance. I don’t try to control anyone or anything. I simply walk peacefully in the sunlight of the Spirit, and you can too if you choose. We are here to guide you on this road of happy destiny.
Love,
The Way
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